Okay so it is Saturday evening and I feel terrible because I haven't written in such a very long time but there is good reason for that. I have been busy with tons of papers and a lot of things that God has put on my heart lately. Hopefully I will continue to grow and do a lot better in school and in my friendships. Thankfully, I have been able to write all these papers without much stress and go to classes and hangout with friends and go places and do things and have fun enjoying college life all while growing closer to God and doing amazing things that were completely from Him and so obviously not done by me. It has all really been strengthening my relationship with Him and growing me into the young woman I have been called to be.
On Monday, I think my greatest experience was focused on the fact that I had so many assignments that needed to be done and that I wasn't able to do it all on my own strength and I was soooo busy! That morning, I realized that I had accidentally deleted a three page paper for Bible that I had completed on Saturday morning and was due on Tuesday. With everything else like work, a 3 hour class, and other assignments, recognizing the fact that I couldn't even start to rewrite this paper until after it was due was very humbling. This was also due in part to the fact that the book I needed was always checked out whenever I was able to read it that day... >.< ...
I realized that God was using this experience to show me that, no matter how much we plan ahead, there is always a very real possibility that He may have other plans in store for us and we must learn to trust His judgment above our own.
Tuesday was overwhelming.
I was simultaneously preparing a paper for my final homeschooling class, which was on Wednesday; figuring out how I was going to write my English paper, which was due on Friday; and now I was figuring out how to have a paper written that was due the next day to my favorite professor and which had already been completely finished earlier. It was all very frustrating and I was beyond distraught. But, unfortunately, those were not my greatest worries.
The biggest problem bugging me that entire weekend, and especially on Tuesday, was the fact that I had missed two of my math classes since Spring Break because I had planned to withdraw from the class and so, of course, I didn't go. However, I decided, at the very last moment, that I was going to stick it out. There were only 4-5 more once a week classes left and I had already gone this far with a good grade, why not just do my best and finish?
So I was frantically trying to learn the difficult material that everyone else had gone over in class...You should know that I am really not good at learning math (Especially on my own!) and so I had some classmates go over the homework with me and I went to class early to study and get help from my teacher. I was so completely nervous the entire day and had been praying so much that day because I wasn't understanding most of the problems or the methods that were being discussed, but I knew that God could still do an amazing work through me. So I asked Him if He would tangibly show me how He can do amazing things with someone who feels so wholly unable to do anything right. I knew that just because I prayed about it and I worked hard that did not mean that it would happened, but I asked for His help and that He would show His power through me, whether it be big or small, for His glory.
That evening, I took the quiz that I had missed first. My professor graded it right then and there and gave it back to me...I had gotten a 30/30! I had answered three questions and had gotten them all completely correct!
After that, I took my test with the rest of the class. The test had 13 questions and two extra credit questions. I am pretty sure that I did at least average on it which is absolutely amazing! I really hope that I did well because it would be such an amazing testimony, blessing, and relief for me to be able to finish this class out strong and really see this whole situation as completely God and none of myself.
Of course, that is how all of life is, but it is so blatant and clear to me in this class where I don't really enjoy or understand what I'm being taught.
To Be Continued...!
So, with a huge smile on my face, lots of love, and a few more Reflections to write about my week all barely contained inside a small girl in a dorm room located in Pasadena, California, I bid you all a good evening! :)
-Courtney
^ Me imitating my little brother, Timmy (6) ^
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