Reflections (Part 2)

Whew!

These past few months I've noticed that I have put things off in the wayside that I should have had at the forefront of my life. Things such as my relationship with God and with family and my friends as well as just being involved in my college community and not being off in my own little world. After really praying about it for a few months, (Yes some of these decisions were results of New Year's Goals/Prayers) I decided to do a little bit of switching up in my life things that aren't as pressing or things that, while they might be beneficial later on, are taking away from the more important aspects of my life right now. Some things were easier to spot and/or to start working on than others, but in the end, I know that this is a normal part of life as a Christian and that I need to follow God's standards and calling on my life rather than my own wants and desires. 

Things that have come up range from not getting outside enough, especially for exercising; being in a relationship; keeping in my own personal bubble; being at school; allowing myself to become depressed; the list goes on. I realized that as time went on I would justify them by finding the "Good" and trying to outweigh the "Bad" or saying "Well, this is why I'm doing this," but that's not how, as a Christian, I should go about the way I live my life. The Westminster Shorter Catechism says this: What is the chief end of man? - To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. That is one of my main life statements and I strive, often weakly, to keep that as my focus. But I cannot pursue something without God's support. If there is something that I am doing, that I have been praying about and seeking advice from Christian authority figures on, and yet, no matter how "Good" it might be, the situation is slowly leading me away from keeping my relationship with God as my main focus, then it is my duty to act on and pray for guidance as to the way in which it should be fixed as soon as I possibly can.  "Enjoying Him forever" does not mean I go over every situation and say "Well this is okay because it feels right" or some other form of reasoning. It means that as a someone who has been created by God and is a child of His that I should enjoy the fellowship with Him that I have on earth as a way of looking forward to fellowship with Him in the future. 

If I am to be in fellowship with THE Creator, MY Creator, who am I to say "Well look over here, I'm glorifying You in these ways, but I mean, can't I just have this situation to myself? Does it really matter/count? I can't be perfect You know...I mean...I've been saved by Christ's blood and my sins have been completely removed....I am one of Your children...Won't these sins be cleared off as well?" Yes, in an extremely technical sense that is true, but that's not the right attitude or mindset at all! In fact, that's a really great way to dishonor God and eventually, if not sooner, end up embarrassing yourself along the way. Not to mention that the embarrassment might not be solely seen by God...It can seen by people around you as well! Trust me, I know...I have had many, many experiences. It is only by God's grace that He is showing me areas that I have sinned in, but not only that, He is actively bringing me back to Himself....How amazing is that!?!
^_^

You know what, I'll let you in on a non-secret...It's EXTREMELY humbling and can be a source of embarrassment and pain that you didn't know you could experience. But I'll let you in on something else...IT'S COMPLETELY WORTH IT! I can endure the looks, comments, reactions, etc from other people, no matter who it's from or what it is, because I know now that my heart, soul, mind, and strength are being lead in the right direction by the One who holds the only, working compass for life. 

Yes, I know, this post did turn out to sound more like a testimony in the end....Again...But that is really how my life has been this month, especially this past week. A testimony that, if we do what God has shown us to do, He will eventually bless us, whether it's in this life or the one to follow. There are things happening now in my life that I have been praying for months (And some for years!) to happen or at least begin, and God has finally started to answer these prayers in ways that have truly shocked and amazed me. So much so that a few of the people on campus have come up to me or been talking with me lately and suddenly said things like "Wow...You've been so energetic and full of life and branching out into the community and just have been so bright and upbeat lately...What happened??" And I get to share the ways that God's been changing and working through situations in my life for His glory and my further enjoyment of Him. 

That is why I am able to write this post now. It is so easy for me to become depressed and frustrated that there have been so many difficult situations to deal with in my life, but God has used and is continuing to use each and every one of them to show me how I have sinned and where my relationship with Him has been replaced as my top priority. Yes, it is and will continue to be difficult to uproot the habits and situations that I have let replace Him, but it will be so completely worth it in the end... That is why I am able to bring to God the areas that I am purposing to work in with His help like my relationship with Him and with my family and being a better friend and being involved in the Providence community and focusing more time and effort on my courses and finding and working at a summer job; the list goes on and on and on... 

I can't wait to see what He will continue to do in my life even just within this next year!
^_^

So yeah, that was the other half of my reflections...I hope I didn't bore you at all... I'm not sure how you could be bored by something so wonderful and exciting, but some people don't get as excited about these things as others do... : (

So, with a lot on my my mind and lots of love and prayer your way ...Yes, even you ;) ... I am going to go finish up the last bit of my work at the library this evening and be off to my bed after a loooong day!

Good night and God bless!

-Courtney

A picture that I had taken of McGavran Hall reflecting in the railing next to the Library